Sunday, July 24, 2011

Anatomy of a Disgusting Throatee*

I've gotten pretty lazy about shaving this year. Before moving to Dominica, I switched from an electric shaver to razor blades, and now I like to use higher end shaving cream with a shaving brush (Denise compels me to point out that she bought me the nice shaving cream and badger brush. Thanks hon). Part of this was because the electric shavers were always crapping out on me, and partly because I liked the idea of shaving old school. There's a meditative quality to shaving slowly, it clears my thoughts, even if only for a few minutes, and it's one of the few activities a man can do in which he carefully takes care of his body. I feel like it's the masculine equivalent of women moisturizing.

Fine stuff.
When we moved from our old apartment to our current one here in Picard, it made it far more difficult to shave. Our bathroom sink doesn't provide hot water, so I have to shave in the shower, which has no mirror. The pleasure has largely been taken out of the process, because it's either not delightfully warm, or I can't look at my own lovely face. So I shave less now.

The result is some pretty gross facial hair. I was not blessed with the same genetic qualities as my older brothers, both of whom are at least capable of growing a beard. However, because I'm stuck on an island, I decided to grow out what I have just to see what happens. Strangely, this is being done with the blessing of Denise.

I'm about three weeks in, and here's what we have. I've been shaving my upper lip, because it looks pubescent, and trimming the soul patch, because for some reason it's been growing rather fast, and also looks disgusting. Yesterday, I decided to start growing the mustache too, just to see how it compliments the rest of my impressive facial hair. Anyhow, here it is:

Gross right? Evidently, I can grow a mean throatee, but my cheeks are sadly barren. Every day I struggle with the desire to shave it all off, or to leave it another month to see how it looks then.

Shame, really. I've always wanted a beard.

*Throatee is copyright Daniel Cozzuol.


  1. Your facial hair makes you the ├╝ber-ginge.

    Congrats on at least tidying up that mess of sporadic hair.

    I am with you on the teen-stache though... why won't it grow in certain places??

    p.s. I am Anonymous again!

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